Happy Birthday to Me?

I hate celebrating birthdays.

Well, no not really, I LOVE celebrating other people's birthdays.
Mine? Not so much.

Maybe its because these past 3 birthdays something has happened to upset me (and I have this feeling that this birthday is not going to be different)? Maybe, I dunno.. but its probably something more than that.

You know that cynical way of looking at birthdays, that you are technically celebrating getting a day closer to your death? Well, depressing fact, it's true. I mean, hello... you aren't getting any younger.

I think that plays a major part in why I dislike celebrating my birthday.

No, I do not fear aging, but when the day comes around, it emphasizes the fact that a whole year passed, a whole year got knocked off my life, and I accomplished nothing.

Nothing in the since that I allowed this life's minute details to distract me from accomplishing anything that really matters, goals that I set for myself, things that would really make me truly happy, not superficially.

Basically, at the end of the day, I'm not the person who I want to be.

Honestly, I wouldn't mind just fast forwarding my birthday... but what would I tell my friends and family, ummm thanks for the sentiments and presents, but I'd rather just forget my birthday, you can take them back?

Yeah, maybe I'm a pessimist.... but whatever.

I never get what I want for my birthday because no one can give it to me, and I can't spend the day with people who actually care because they're all far away.

So I'd rather not celebrate a day that just brings to light everything I try to push away.

Happy Birthday to Me? Eh.. no, not really.